Proud........

With everything that has been going on lately I forget to tell a certain person how special he is to me.

Kyesun has been an amazing 1st grader. He has received ALOT of awards at school. To name a few he has gotten are.. Schleuter Superstar 2 times, Quarter Student of the Month, Best All around Student.... He is truly a great kid. He is so kind and thoughful. He loved buying his teacher apples during lunch. He always thinks about other people before himself. He is loving, caring, considerate, outgoing, shy, funny, crazy, loud, and awesome. I had Kyesun when I was 17. I would NOT change anything about that. Because of this amazing little boy my life changed for the better. I have always had friends that were older then me, so I was always mature for my age. But after having Kyesun I really grew up. Sometimes I forget that im still only 25. Crazy I know right. Im 25 and I have an almost 8 year old. Kyesun is my baby. I have so much to thank him for.

Kyesun my not so baby boy.... I love you with all my heart! I am so proud of you and all that you have accomplished this year. You are an amazing brother and a wonderful son. I am so happy to have you in my life! 

I love you! 

Frustration................

This is exactly how I feel right now. Frustrated and a little overwhelmed. I have so much going on in my life right now and sometimes I have to ask the all to famous question....."Why Me"?! Its not like having your husband gone for approximately 2 1/2 - 3 years out of your 7 and 1/2 year marriage isn't enough. You also have to throw in the sudden loss of a father, 2 miscarriages, 1 still born, and 1 baby that has cancer....... I have endured a lot these past couple of years and sometimes I do catch myself crying and feeling sorry for myself. Thats where I get the question "why Me"?

Then I go to the cancer clinic where my baby is treated... And I see all the the kids that walk in and out of that clinic and im sure they have asked themselves that famous question too. But they still manage to have smiles on their darling faces and the most contagious laughs! I wish I could be more like them at times. Just forget about EVERYTHING and LIVE for NOW! I want to be more like them. I have so much NOW to LIVE for.... I have a husband who makes me laugh. I have 2 healthy little boys... I have one STRONG baby... I have an amazing Mother! I really do have alot to be thankful and happy for right NOW!!

I just have to remind myself from time to time........................................

Family Pictures by Vain Photography!

Our friend Matt took some awesome pictures of our little family, check them out!

Time to move................... AGAIN?!

Yes it is that time again. This time we are moving not to far away so that way we can stay close to PCH and close to Konner's Dr's. But we will only be in that town for a month and then we will be moving back to the great city of Farmington. I am sitting here at 9:40 at night thinking of all the packing that we have to do in the next 2 weeks and on top of that all of Konner's appointments. He has one on Friday, Monday and then again thursday. And that just to make sure he is doing as good as can be expected with this round of chemo. Then he will have an appointment once  a week until he has his scans! So we will be very very busy.

Another thing I cant get off my mind is my MOM! I am going to miss her like crazy. I sit here right now with tears filling my eyes. I love my mom dearly and she has helped out tremendously. I wish I could take her with me and im sure my boys fill the same. You see..... My mom has watched my boys non stop for us. Like really since I got pregnant with Konner. She was here at my house EVERY saturday and im not over exaggerating. She was here every saturday to clean and watch my boys. Then when it go closer to having konner she moved in with me to help me with my boys and the cleaning and just incase I went into labor at night. She is the MOST AMAZING MOM in the world. I am SO GLAD she is mine. Kyle and I could not thank her enough for everything she has done for our little family. I dont know what I am going to do without her. She calls me on a daily basis and I am thankful for that! She is truly my best friend!

Mom if you are reading this..... Thank You from the bottom of my heart for being the best MOM, Mother in law and NANA in the WORLD! I love you and no matter how far apart we are I will always be by you and think of you. Thanks for keeping me strong and sane during this past year! I will only be a phone call away!!!

Happy Mothers Day 2010!

I am a mother to a loving 1st grader! 

(Kyesun 7 yrs old)

I am a mother to an Angel!  

(Kade 4 yrs in Heaven)

I am a mother to a Devious little boy! 

(Kayben 2 yrs old)

I am a mother to a Fighter! 

(Konner 4 days short of 3 months)

I am a Mother to 4 Handsome boys! 

I LOVE it and wouldn't have 

it any other way!