Where are you

Where have you gone? I need you desperately and cant seem to find you anywhere. I have been searching for you for so long. Where is the confidence, the security, the trust, the motivation, the strength. I have lost you and long for you to come back!

Where am I? that's what I have been asking my self lately. I think I really need to get out of my rut because I am going nuts. I cant seem to find MOTIVATION to do anything. I am constantly cleaning everything. And it seems like it never ends. I have lost my confidence in my self and I need that back. I am sick of caring about what others think.

I just need to be ME!

So today things are going to change. NO more caring about others opinions. NO more sitting on the couch at night and watching movies. NO MORE RUTS!!

Its time for me to move on. So today I will do just that. I am going to workout. I am going to get registered for school. I am going to go tanning. I am going to get my self confidence back. I will not let others bring me down, I am going to be a STRONG me like I once was. I am going to live for today. I am going to smile and keep my head up. Every time My boys smile at me I will give them the biggest hug and kiss. Every time Kyle calls I am going to talk his ear off. I will CHERISH every moment I have with him like it was my last!

I am going to LOVE my life!

So TODAY I am going to so GOODBYE old one and HELLO new ME!

"Sometimes we feel that because difficulties come, the LIGHT in our lives becomes meaningless. We forget that the Lord didn't promise to keep the fog away- but he did promise that there would always be light."

Karl T. Haglund

Back to cameras

Ok so im back to cameras and I found 4 I really really like. I want to get your opinions on them.They have all gotten really good reviews. So if any of you have one of these or have heard of these let me know what you think!

Nikon - Coolpix 12.1-Megapixel Digital Camera

Nikon - 6.1MP Digital SLR Camera

Canon - EOS Digital Rebel XSi 12.2-Megapixel Digital SLR Camera with Lens

Canon - EOS Digital Rebel XS 10.1-Megapixel Digital SLR Camera

more picture from picnik

Im seriously in love with this site!

picnik

this is a site I found. It is AMAZING!!!!!! look at the pictures I edited with it. It makes them look really professional. check it out http://www.picnik.com/app#/home/welcome

Camera

I need a new camera before Kyle is officially out of state (he is taking my old camera). So that is ASAP, do any of you have any recommends? I want something that will take really good photos and not break so easily. I am open to try anything. Right now I have a panasonic Lumnix. It worked really good at first now it takes horrible indoor shots at times and when we go to sporting events I have to put it on a certain mode and it will take good pictures but it wont zoom in good. So I need something with a good zoom.

ANY IDEAS.................

MoTiVaTiOn

Thats right I need it desperately! I cant seem to find the will power to start a routine. I am just really lost right now. It seems like I am constantly busy but at the end of the day I look around and it doesnt seem like I got anything accomplished.

WHAT THE HECK

I need to start working out again and just getting a normal daily routine started. I am going to look for a camera and I need to learn how to sew. I feel so alone at times and I cant get to sleep at a decent hour. It seriously sucks and my only strength are my kids and my MOM. I am going nuts without Kyle! I cant wait for the 6 month when things start getting easier.

I also want to say thank you for all your support and prayers for our family, they are GREATLY appreciated.

I need some motivation, Its so hard getting started. Do any of you have any ideas on how you get your motivation?

some pictures before Kyle left

Oh what to do...........

I don't even know where to start. On Friday Kyle left for his deployment at 4:00 am. Its only Sunday and I already MISS him like CRAZY! I know Kyesun misses him because he asks about him constantly and this morning he said mom, Dad and I always use to wake up early and then he started crying. It was the saddest thing. So I guess I will now be waking up at 6 in the am.

So you ask what am I going to do for a year? How do you let him go for a year? The answer to that is...

I have a plan and lets hope I go through with it. Right now I just want to go back to bed and pretend like Kyle is still here. Serious though, I am going to start my routine which consists of Working out, taking Kyesun to school, Tanning, Starting school, Taking care of the boys and just try to stay as busy as possible! Now for question numero dos - I HAVE to do it, Kyle is owned by the army and we have to do exactly what they say! lol

We are going to MISS Kyle and as soon as he gets back he is totally DONE with the army!!!!! We are going to be able to see him one more time before he officially leaves for duty, so that is what I am looking forward to as of now, then after that I will look forward to his return.

I did get the boys a cool thing from walgreens that's called a wall cling. It is seriously the cutest thing ever! I had a bunch of pictures of Kyle and the boys made into a wall cling. A wall cling does exactly what its called. It clings to the wall. its Awesome. Kyle also made the boys each a personalized build a bear. They are cute and have his voice when you press their tummy. Kyesun LOVES his but Kayben is not to fond of it! lol Kyle also made me one, It has a heart beat that you can not only hear but feel as well! this whole build a bear thing has come very far!



Well I just want to say to KYLE I love you and I am SOOOO PROUD of you and all of your accomplishments! I admire your drive and your strength. You will be deeply miss and I can not wait for you to get back! We have had so many trials and have made it through them. These boys love you and are waiting for the day that they get to see you again. Kyesun literally cant wait to see you on the computer! We love you babe and thank you so much for not only protecting us here but for everyone else as well.

YOUR AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!